Renewed Love
When Love Grows Cold: Finding Your Way Back to Your First Love
There's something powerful about fresh love. Think about the energy people pour into the things they're passionate about—sports fans braving subzero temperatures, painting their faces, cheering until they're hoarse. We invest incredible energy into what we love, whether it's our favorite team, our hobbies, or the people closest to us.
But here's the question that should stop us in our tracks: Is our love for God just as obvious? Just as passionate? Just as all-consuming?
The Warning to Ephesus
In the book of Revelation, the church at Ephesus received a sobering message. They were doing everything right on the surface—working hard, persevering through difficulties, protecting sound doctrine, identifying false teachers. By all external measures, they were a model church.
Yet God had one critical issue with them: "I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first" (Revelation 2:4).
Despite all their good works and theological precision, they had lost something essential—their passionate, wholehearted love for Jesus. Other things had quietly stolen their affection. The fire had dimmed to embers.
This ancient warning echoes into our modern lives with uncomfortable relevance. We can attend services, serve faithfully, maintain all the right practices, and still have hearts that have grown distant and cold.
The Danger of Neglect
Here's a truth that applies to every relationship in life: a love neglected is a love lost.
Marriage provides a perfect illustration. When a couple first marries, keeping the passion alive is effortless. The love is fresh, exciting, and neither spouse has to work hard to keep the fire burning. But the real test comes years later. Couples who maintain deep love are those who practice healthy habits—regular dates, open communication, acts of service, intentional connection.
Our relationship with God works the same way. Do you remember what it was like when you first encountered Him? The excitement, the freedom, the constant awareness of His presence? You talked about Him freely. You thought about Him constantly. Things that once enslaved you suddenly held no appeal.
But somewhere along the way, perhaps the flame flickered. Maybe it was gradual—a slow drift rather than a sudden departure. Laziness crept in. Old sins regained their appeal. Disappointment took root when prayers seemed unanswered. The relationship that once defined you became something you maintained out of obligation rather than love.
Peter's Story of Renewal
Peter's journey offers profound hope for anyone who has lost their first love. Here was the most zealous disciple—passionate, quick to respond, ready to fight for Jesus. Yet on the night of Jesus's arrest, fear overwhelmed love. Three times Peter denied even knowing the man he had pledged to follow to death.
Peter forgot his first love. In his moment of crisis, self-preservation trumped devotion.
But the story doesn't end there. After the resurrection, the disciples returned to what they knew—fishing. After a fruitless night, a familiar voice called from the shore. It was Jesus. Peter, overjoyed, leaped into the water and swam to shore. The man who had denied Christ now rushed toward Him.
On that beach, over breakfast, Jesus offered Peter something beautiful: a second chance.
Three times Jesus asked, "Do you love me?" Three times Peter affirmed his love. Three times Jesus commissioned him: "Feed my sheep."
The three-fold question matched Peter's three-fold denial. Jesus was offering restoration, renewal, a fresh start. The relationship wasn't beyond repair. Love could be rekindled.
The God of Second Chances
There's a detail in this story that's easy to miss without understanding the original language. The first two times Jesus asked if Peter loved Him, He used the Greek word "agape"—the highest form of love, sacrificial and godly. Peter responded with "phileo"—brotherly love, the affection between close friends.
Peter seemed to recognize his limitations. He couldn't claim to love perfectly, not after his failure.
But the third time, Jesus met Peter where he was. He used Peter's word—"phileo." He accepted Peter's honest, imperfect love and invited it to grow.
This is the heart of God toward us. He doesn't demand perfection before accepting our love. He invites us to love Him as much as we can, knowing that sincere love has the ability to grow over time.
There is no amount of brokenness that can keep us from the love of God. No failure too great. No distance too far. God is always faithful in His love and commitment to us, even when we fail to love Him well.
When Love Still Works
A surgeon once had to remove a tumor from a young woman's cheek. In the process, he had to sever a nerve, leaving one side of her mouth permanently sagging and distorted. When she looked in the mirror and asked if it would always be that way, the doctor confirmed it would.
Her young husband, standing beside her, smiled and said, "I like it. It's kind of cute." Then he bent to kiss her crooked mouth, twisting his own lips to accommodate hers, showing her that their kiss still worked.
This is the picture of God's love for us. Despite our brokenness, our distortions, our imperfections—He accommodates. He meets us where we are. He shows us that love still works.
Rekindling the Flame
If you've recognized yourself in this message—if you realize your love has grown cold—renewal is possible. Here's how to begin:
Create space for God. Choose a distraction-free location and spend intentional time with Him. Any relationship that's neglected pays a price. You cannot foster intimacy without investment.
Express love through action. Take part in random acts of kindness. Stop making it all about what you need from God and become a conduit of His love to others. There's something transformative about being the channel through which God's love flows.
God went to extraordinary lengths—sending His Son to die on a cross—to remind us that our love can still work. No matter how far we've drifted, no matter how cold our hearts have grown, renewal is available.
The invitation stands: return to your first love. Let the flame be rekindled. Watch what God can do when you commit yourself once again to loving Him with your whole heart.
There's something powerful about fresh love. Think about the energy people pour into the things they're passionate about—sports fans braving subzero temperatures, painting their faces, cheering until they're hoarse. We invest incredible energy into what we love, whether it's our favorite team, our hobbies, or the people closest to us.
But here's the question that should stop us in our tracks: Is our love for God just as obvious? Just as passionate? Just as all-consuming?
The Warning to Ephesus
In the book of Revelation, the church at Ephesus received a sobering message. They were doing everything right on the surface—working hard, persevering through difficulties, protecting sound doctrine, identifying false teachers. By all external measures, they were a model church.
Yet God had one critical issue with them: "I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first" (Revelation 2:4).
Despite all their good works and theological precision, they had lost something essential—their passionate, wholehearted love for Jesus. Other things had quietly stolen their affection. The fire had dimmed to embers.
This ancient warning echoes into our modern lives with uncomfortable relevance. We can attend services, serve faithfully, maintain all the right practices, and still have hearts that have grown distant and cold.
The Danger of Neglect
Here's a truth that applies to every relationship in life: a love neglected is a love lost.
Marriage provides a perfect illustration. When a couple first marries, keeping the passion alive is effortless. The love is fresh, exciting, and neither spouse has to work hard to keep the fire burning. But the real test comes years later. Couples who maintain deep love are those who practice healthy habits—regular dates, open communication, acts of service, intentional connection.
Our relationship with God works the same way. Do you remember what it was like when you first encountered Him? The excitement, the freedom, the constant awareness of His presence? You talked about Him freely. You thought about Him constantly. Things that once enslaved you suddenly held no appeal.
But somewhere along the way, perhaps the flame flickered. Maybe it was gradual—a slow drift rather than a sudden departure. Laziness crept in. Old sins regained their appeal. Disappointment took root when prayers seemed unanswered. The relationship that once defined you became something you maintained out of obligation rather than love.
Peter's Story of Renewal
Peter's journey offers profound hope for anyone who has lost their first love. Here was the most zealous disciple—passionate, quick to respond, ready to fight for Jesus. Yet on the night of Jesus's arrest, fear overwhelmed love. Three times Peter denied even knowing the man he had pledged to follow to death.
Peter forgot his first love. In his moment of crisis, self-preservation trumped devotion.
But the story doesn't end there. After the resurrection, the disciples returned to what they knew—fishing. After a fruitless night, a familiar voice called from the shore. It was Jesus. Peter, overjoyed, leaped into the water and swam to shore. The man who had denied Christ now rushed toward Him.
On that beach, over breakfast, Jesus offered Peter something beautiful: a second chance.
Three times Jesus asked, "Do you love me?" Three times Peter affirmed his love. Three times Jesus commissioned him: "Feed my sheep."
The three-fold question matched Peter's three-fold denial. Jesus was offering restoration, renewal, a fresh start. The relationship wasn't beyond repair. Love could be rekindled.
The God of Second Chances
There's a detail in this story that's easy to miss without understanding the original language. The first two times Jesus asked if Peter loved Him, He used the Greek word "agape"—the highest form of love, sacrificial and godly. Peter responded with "phileo"—brotherly love, the affection between close friends.
Peter seemed to recognize his limitations. He couldn't claim to love perfectly, not after his failure.
But the third time, Jesus met Peter where he was. He used Peter's word—"phileo." He accepted Peter's honest, imperfect love and invited it to grow.
This is the heart of God toward us. He doesn't demand perfection before accepting our love. He invites us to love Him as much as we can, knowing that sincere love has the ability to grow over time.
There is no amount of brokenness that can keep us from the love of God. No failure too great. No distance too far. God is always faithful in His love and commitment to us, even when we fail to love Him well.
When Love Still Works
A surgeon once had to remove a tumor from a young woman's cheek. In the process, he had to sever a nerve, leaving one side of her mouth permanently sagging and distorted. When she looked in the mirror and asked if it would always be that way, the doctor confirmed it would.
Her young husband, standing beside her, smiled and said, "I like it. It's kind of cute." Then he bent to kiss her crooked mouth, twisting his own lips to accommodate hers, showing her that their kiss still worked.
This is the picture of God's love for us. Despite our brokenness, our distortions, our imperfections—He accommodates. He meets us where we are. He shows us that love still works.
Rekindling the Flame
If you've recognized yourself in this message—if you realize your love has grown cold—renewal is possible. Here's how to begin:
Create space for God. Choose a distraction-free location and spend intentional time with Him. Any relationship that's neglected pays a price. You cannot foster intimacy without investment.
Express love through action. Take part in random acts of kindness. Stop making it all about what you need from God and become a conduit of His love to others. There's something transformative about being the channel through which God's love flows.
God went to extraordinary lengths—sending His Son to die on a cross—to remind us that our love can still work. No matter how far we've drifted, no matter how cold our hearts have grown, renewal is available.
The invitation stands: return to your first love. Let the flame be rekindled. Watch what God can do when you commit yourself once again to loving Him with your whole heart.
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